Writing this post wasn’t fun, but absolutely necessary in order to move on and seek closure.

So, I will be blunt: Integral Impressions has failed.

The fact of the matter is, the business that I founded, nurtured and built is now closed. People are disappointed. Some seriously let down. I feel like shit.

Now what? Time to write a blog post and do my pass on the lessons learned. Time to make every attempt to find the value in a really devastating situation.

Let’s take it from the top:

The last communication regarding Integral Impressions referenced an acquisition by ‘Morefocus’ that never came to fruition.

We entered in negotiations towards the end of 2008, hopeful that we would be acquired as our runway was quickly coming to an end. After a several month courting process and a few critical mistakes later, I became the victim of misfortune as I watched the deal start to fall apart.

Here’s how: Both companies entered the ‘Due Diligence’ phase of the agreement on the verge of SouthbySouthwest (SxSW), in March 2009. Hopeful that everything would pan out, and disparately needing to communicate what the future held for clients, developers, users, and staff- I made the decision to release the news of the acquisition before the docs were signed. (enter Mistake #1)

After the news broke, it became really clear to me that the deal was going sour for several reasons:
* The books weren’t clean, and filled with accounting holes
* Morefocus was no longer in a position to make an investment in my company despite their good will/intentions
* The valuation at this level proved to be very difficult (we ultimately settled on 1x revenue)

With the news (and video) of the acquisition released, and the reality that the deal failed, I had really struggled with how to respond. I was faced with the immediate need of figuring out how I was going to survive. I have a new family, new baby, and ailing family members that all depended on me. I had to do something, and I had no motivation to face the fight.

I tried to revive my back up deals that fell by the wayside when I entered the DD phase with Morefocus. I tried to reposition the company for a round of investment. I tried to sell my way out of it. In the end, nothing worked.

I was not able to pay myself, the development team, or even the server bill on some occasions. I was faced with more collection calls than sales calls and I didn’t know what to do, or where to turn. Things were getting really bad.

Which brings me to (Mistake #2): Holding on too long.

Almost every failing business gets to a point where they know they should close before they’ve committed to making the decision. Some entrepreneurs put the superman cape on, and pull their business from the wreckage, however- most don’t. My second failure was making the mistake of holding on too long. I did myself, my vendors, and my clients a major disservice by not reading the writing on the wall, and closing our doors sooner.

The fact of the matter is, companies need money to close their doors, which is counter-intuitive. Knowing how to get out safely is a skill you only acquire by experience. You either have it and know it to be true, or you have absolutely no idea what I am taking about.

I simply held on too long to the dream, and didn’t put myself in a position of strength for my next endeavor. I was completely tapped financially, emotionally, and physically. I wanted to hibernate for at least 30 days, but I couldn’t. I needed to get out there and make something happen.

Good entrepreneurs know when to cut their losses, and how to position themselves for success even if everything around them is failing. A lesson I am learning, albeit painfully.

So the Morefocus acquisition fell through, I was down to the felt, and I needed to close the business. Unfortunately this meant leaving unfinished business with many of the people that helped service my clients months and years before. Which leads to me to one of the most difficult experiences I have had to face to date, telling contributers that I would not be in a position to pay them for their work. I know this is shitty, but relatively common given our economic climate. Regardless, it is an experience I will never be comfortable with. For the sake of my own survival, I needed to communicate the reality and hope that down the road I would make everyone whole.

Some accepted the communication as fact of life. Others persisted to email/call me frequently until they realized I wasn’t bluffing. All I can do is profusely apologize to these individuals and offer my help (in sweat equity). The list of people below are talented contractors that have helped me a great deal, and I’d like to ask any of you to employ them as needed if you can use their services.

* Ryan Cartsen of Carsten Media (www.carstennewmedia.com) – Flash Genius
* Ryan Kuder of Koombea (www.koombea.com) – Agile Web Development
* Kane Baccigalupi (www.linkedin.com/pub/kane-baccigalupi/7/29b/916) – Rails/Merb Developer
* Chris Schulte (www.oceanbreezesoftware.com) – System Administrator
* Jim Hughes (www.unkind2monkeys.com) – Rails Developer
* Cooper More (www.coopermor.com) – Designer
* Leland Saccone (www.pglawfirm.com) – Lawyer

To some of the above I owe a financial debt. To all I owe a personal debt. Thank you, everyone with whom I’ve worked, as client, contractor or staff member for what you’ve done. It is my fondest hope that at some time in the future I can provide you with a fraction of the value that you’ve provided to me.

Letting people down sucks. Starting over in business sucks. Your life changing because of these repercussions suck. I wish I had a different adjective than sucks, but it fits.

And this brings me to my 3rd big mistake: not communicating enough, sooner.

People have a right to know what’s going on, even if the news is ‘nothing’ or ‘we’re working on it’. It became increasing uncomfortable for me to interact in the social environment because I was keenly aware that I hadn’t addressed the situation.

After short period of avoiding the matter completely, I typed a letter and posted it on integralimpressions.com, then waited for the fall out.

To my surprise, that fall out never came. Maybe people didn’t want to speak on the matter until I did. Maybe people discussed it amongst themselves, offline. Maybe people really didn’t care.

The only thing that gives me peace is knowing that I made every sacrifice I’ve asked people to make for me, and then some.

At the end of the day, I had a strong 5 year run at creating a self sustaining business and got sideswiped by a bad economy and diminishing client base. I put everything on the line to create something better for my family, and those around me. This time, it didn’t work out.

So that’s the cliff notes on what happened. Maybe I will post more detail if people really want to know. For now, this is all the info I feel comfortable sharing on the subject.

So, now you know what happened. Let’s talk about what’s next.

I went through a myriad of emotions throughout this entire process. I’ve felt angry, depressed, anxious, and everything in between. I seemed to conquer my issues by realizing three important facts:

Fact 1: Acceptance First.
I had to work hard to accept myself, regain my confidence, and be as comfortable as I could with what happened. All of which was really difficult with Pride and Ego constantly in my ear. I had to let go of other people’s perception and just charge through life utilizing my newly minted experience.

Fact 2: You’re not alone.
I had to realize that as much as I am responsible for Integral’s failures, I am not alone in this. I am not completely responsible, nor am I an outlier. This is a reality most businesses (and even governments) face and I am not single handedly responsible.

Fact 3: Feed your support network, and you’ll get fed.
I can’t thank my family, friends, and close colleagues enough for sticking with me through these times. You know who you are, and I appreciate you all SO much. You’ve kept me fed in more ways than one. I’d probably be working some dead-end job if it wasn’t for your genuine caring and support.

Accepting myself, understanding I wasn’t alone, and feeding off my close support network was the key to getting me back in game.

After the dust had settled on the failed acquisition, MoreFocus still needed a skillset that I possessed. I negotiated a role as acting Chief Marketing Officer, where my responsibility will be to oversee all internal and external marketing initiatives.

Just when I wanted to be done with everything Integral and dedicate myself to a new venture, there was still a great deal of work that still needed by done.

(1) Fire sell the assets of Integral
(2) Communicate the reality to investors and vendors
(3) Clean house, terminate contracts, and close the doors

All of which take more of an emotional toll, than physical. I honestly feel, after dealing with this, I can handle almost anything business has to offer. I am not patting myself on the back, inferring that I handled this perfectly. However, this experience thickened my skin in a way that only experience does. You can’t get this knowledge from reading a blog, book, or Twitter feed- it has to be lived.

At times I have found it difficult to pursue new business with this failure fresh in my head. Starting a new role and constantly tending to another, put me in a constant state of conflict. Until a mentor of mine reminded me that in order to make good on anything I’ve done in the past, I must put myself in a position to be successful in the future- and I shouldn’t feel guilty about that. He went on to say, “a good amount of success is garnered from putting out an aura of success; and you can’t embody that if you’re constantly doubting yourself.”

Right now I am pressing on with Morefocus, and personally reevaluating a lot of things in my life. I hope to be in a position one day where I can look back on this experience and see that it was only a temporary set back. I know my best days are ahead of me, and I’ve yet to do my best work. That is what motivates me everyday moving forward: making good on past commitments, and propelling my next venture into a great success.

Thank you for reading this, and listening to my lament. Given the breadth of this subject, if there is anything you’d like me to elaborate in further detail, leave me a comment and I will be happy to oblige.

One final note. If you’re going to fail… Fail, and then keep moving forward. Success is a venture away.

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A moment comes in ones life where we need to stop and reflect. Asking questions like, “where we’ve been, where we’re going, and what needs to change” are all good things to ponder. The last twelve months my life has had it share of ups and downs, leaving me with the feeling of not knowing what is right side up.

Here is a recap of top 6 events that has affected my professional career over the last year.

(1) Baby on the way, due next month, 9/14
(2) Attempted to remake our company brand, Integral Impressions, but later ‘we’ decided against it.
(3) Started SDBloggers meetup, and watched it grow to over 150 members
(4) Seriously pondered moving to San Francisco, but decided to stay in San Diego
(5) Founded another startup, helped secure funding, and resigned 8 weeks later
(6) Parted ways from long time business partner Chris Abad

With all these recent events leaving me somewhat discombobulated, I thought I would seek therapy the best way I know how, by blogging.

Here goes… oh, and excuse the lack of organization and jumbled sentence structure. (If you’ve read any of my previous work, you’re probably used to it by now).

Given these recent changes, I feel more confident than ever in the direction my career and company are headed. None of this would be possible without support from all of you. I must thank my family, friends, and colleagues for continuing to be the foundation I build my ideals upon.

These last 12 months have taught me more than any other year in business. I’ve learned key lessons that I am convinced, can’t be taught, but rather experienced. Here are just a few I’d like to share:

* Community matters
If you are building a website, product, application, or just playing with Lego’s, you need to build a community around your creation. If you don’t know why, you should add the following bloggers to your reader: Community Guy, Jennifer Van Grove, or Chris Brogan.

* The difference between venture funded startups and self funded companies is focus.
VC funded companies are focused on adoption and growing the user base, while trying to figure out a way to make a profit. Self funded startups are focused on cash flow and profits while trying to figure out a way to grow adoption.
I like the politics of the later, even though it means self funding often leads to slower growth rates, and limits the pool of ideas you can pick from. A blog that I really like that touches on this dichotomy is TonyWright.com

* How becoming a new father affects your perception of business
If you’re a Dad, you know what I am talking about. If not, I won’t bother explaining it to you. Here is a hint though: sleep, stress, love, and leadership.

* The importance of a leader
You can’t have management by committee. All organizations need one leader to exercise their best judgement and make strong decisions. Too many cooks in the kitchen means that no one eats! Not even the cooks.

* The power of bloggers and blogging
I find it odd that I have gotten more out of blogging than ever before, at the same time the influencers talking about how blogging is dying. For me blogging has been my ‘foot-in-the-door’ for just about every door I’ve wanted to pry open. Ideas form, get vetted, and implemented, via my blog- and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

* Social media is really about sharing experiences
I’ve been seeing a divide between the early adopters that use the latest social networks, and, lets says, the people that use MySpace. All of us share a common bond of wanting to share our experiences with others. At times, some of us even ‘over-share’. Either way, I’d like to see the classic ‘Ford vs. Chevy’ pissing contest die, as it relates to social media/networks. Don’t be elitist because you use Facebook or Twitter and others don’t or won’t. The world has much bigger issues to address. Like how to shut up Loren Feldman. Thinking about social media as shared media has been a big eye opener for me.

Thanks for reading this and allowing me to share my thoughts with you. As my knowledge and network continues to grow everyday, and my experience along with it, I am fueling my drive to chase the next plateau of my career. If you have a similar story you’d like to share over coffee, I am always interested in listening and meeting new people. Just hit me up: matt@integralimpressions.com or post a comment on my blog.

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We’ve hired a rock star team to support us and our new clients. But that’s not all…

I am proud to announce that after four years of Chris and I working ‘in‘ our company, we transitioning to working ‘on‘ our company. That means we are stepping back and trusting the rock stars we hired to make decisions, meet deadlines, and fulfill client expectations. We will reside as board members and oversee the operations to guarantee quality.

As Chris and I free up our day to day responsibilities with Integral, you can be sure we are not resting. Both of us are engaged in a (top secret) new venture that should be very disruptive for someone named Craig.

Stay tuned for more info about what we are up to!

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Experiences

Internet Famous: Our first panel was called, “How to Rawk,”  where some of the SXSW sherpas showed us the way by explaining why they ‘rawked’ in previous years. The panel kicked off with an accordion player singing Britney Spears, and the panelists drinking from a handle of booze. Each panelist was drinking straight from the bottle— at that point we knew what might be in store for the weekend. Somewhere between MJ telling us the story of how she corrupted Matt Mullenweg, and Rannie talking about his blog, we first heard the word ‘Internet famous.’  The phrase ‘Internet famous’ has a real meaning to us geeks, who live in a world where most people have no idea who we are or what we really do. SXSW, more than any other interactive festival, brings together renown figures on the Internet in a surprisingly casual, non-threatening environment; hence creating a perfect opportunity to meet the ‘Internet famous.’ For this reason, this phrase stuck with me through the trip as I encountered the ‘technorati.’

The Unicorn: For those of your not following the Unicorn’s twitter feed, what a shame. You missed real-time hilarity unfolding via RSS. Here is a little background. Again, one of the first  panels of the show consisted of drinking— only this time there was no accordion player or Britney Spears tune. This time the freak show was a boozing Unicorn that ended up being one of the funnier moments of the festival for me. As I would follow the Unicorn’s feed, there would be times I couldn’t help but burst out laughing… or interrupt someone to tell the Unicorn’s latest pun. The Unicorn was representing Unicorn Media— good job on getting your brand out there guys. 

Sarah Lacy: This has been written about ad-nauseum, so I won’t add to the parade of blog posts. I will say this— Sarah should be mindful of how much she tried to interject herself into the keynote. Promoting your book during someone else’s keynote,  bad etiquette. Trying to make the mutiny about you instead of the fact that the crowd couldn’t interject their questions, lack of tact. Either way, she didn’t deserved to be berated in public like that, I don’t think anyone does. Watch the Interview here and tell me what you think. 

Gingerbread Pancakes: There is a relatively famous breakfast house just outside of Austin called Magnolias. The Gingerbread Pancakes are a must. We ran into MJ, Jason, and Rannie on our way to get a 6am late night snack. Good times. 

Sending Out a Flare: I have used Twitter before SXSW, but I officially got bit by the Twitter bug while I was there. I was incredibly impressed with how efficient communicating and connecting with everyone was. In a matter of minutes you could post a message with what you were doing, and have an entourage of people come join you; Eston calls this “sending out a flare.” If you are Internet famous (say you have 1,000 followers) and you post a message saying where you are or what you are doing, you will be amazed at the social impact. You can see how these social technologies bring people closer and speed up the amount of time it takes to build a lasting relationship. 

Frank Warren from PostSecret.com: PostSecret.com is a site where anyone can create an artistic expression of a secret of theirs and put it on a post card. They anonymously send the post card to Frank Warren and every week he places them on his site. Since he started doing this, he has inspired thousands to confess their secrets and begin this unique healing process. Frank was an inspiration at SXSW, not only for his philanthropy, but for his vast empathy for all of these secrets he holds for others. The post cards show up on his blog, at museums across the country, and even in music videos such as “Dirty Little Secret.” I recommend buying his coffee table book— or at the very least checking out his blog. 

Epic Fail: We have seen ‘FAIL’ used throughout computer programs to let you know you’ve done something wrong. The term failure is so harsh that it caught the attention of the technorati and became a catch phrase when something is done wrong. The phrase Epic Fail, I believe was coined by Teresa, and has been the subject of many Twitter posts since SXSW. Consider it ‘Internet lingo’ at its finest. 

Icanhascheezburger – lolcats: I can’t really explain this one… other than by saying you need to head over to lolcats and check out how this guy actually made a business model out of Icanhascheezburger. We, of course, modified the phrase to fit whatever we wanted to have… Icanhazparty… Icanhazepicfailure… you get the picture.

Elitist: Try to avoid them if you can… elitists are abound at SXSW. It is hard to tell a self righteous designer from an elitist… but you should work hard to avoid either in my opinion. An elitist is someone you can’t share your ‘blind spots’ with, thus making it i

mpossible to have personal development through networking—which is what Southby is all about (if you ask me). 

Blindspots: Which brings me to my final theory, blindspots. We all have things we don’t know about our industry that we should already know. This knowledge gap is called a blindspot. We all have them— and that is why SXSW is so great; because we help each other fill in any gaps in our thinking and refine our strategy. 

People: The people were just as memorable as the events. I made so many lasting memories because of the amazing people on this trip. The famed Internet friendly really lived up to their names. Thanks for a great experience at Southby!

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